Wasted Beauty and Bananas
by Scision
Summary: Remus got the sudden mental image of his Charms professor making out fiercely with that mangy, old cat, and shivered. At least he wasn't imagining them doing more explicit activit.. oh, nevermind, spoke too soon. Crack. No Pairing.


**Disclaimer: if i owned it, the books would have my name printed under "author."  
**_okay. psychobabe313 is forcing me to post this... done just because i was extremely bored.

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**Wasted Beauty and Bananas**

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"Damn, I'm tired!" James roared one overrated, extremely sunny, cloudless, flawless, perfect afternoon.

Remus leafed through his ever-present textbook. "Go up to bed, then. No point in complaining about it here, I have to _work_!"

He gestured towards the ocean of the other books and books and books that surrounded him, covering his lap, all over the table, knee-deep from the floor, and on the armrests of the scarlet armchair he sat on. Sirius dove off the armrest and into the sea of books.

"You _always _have work to do," Peter murmured as he watched Sirius do a perfect butterfly. "Is there ever _not _a time you do homework?"

"Well _someone _has to be the smart one around here," Remus protested. "I'm actually serious about my grades."

Sirius's head popped up from the mound of books. "Someone call my name?" He asked cheerfully.

James growled. "Would you stop it with that 'Serious-Sirius' pun already? It's driving me _INSANE_! I read _enough_ fanfiction about it, thanks!"

"Ooh, fanfiction! I didn't know you liked reading them, James!" Peter squealed.

"Fanfics are hilarious, man," James replied knowingly, "especially pairings like... mm... I dunno, Flitwick/Mrs. Norris or weird, kinky shit like that."

While Peter laughed, Remus got the sudden mental image of his Charms professor making out fiercely with that mangy, old cat, and shivered. At least he wasn't imagining them doing more explicit activit- oh, nevermind, spoke too soon.

"Gross! James, go to bed, I thought you were tired!" he snapped.

"Yeah, but walking up to the dormitory will make me even _more _tired! I can't waste my energy doing _that_!"

"Aww, but then dear Prongs will lose a few good hours of his beauty rest... not like he ever had any beauty to rest for, of course," said Sirius.

James's eyes flashed. "And _what_ exactly is _that _supposed to mean, may I ask?"

"In light of asking which questions may be asked, then I say no, you may not ask."

"But I already asked the question I wanted to ask _before _I asked whether or not I could ask. So, you should answer the question asked before answering the question asked second."

"Well if any questions are asked to me then I can answer whatever said questions have been-"

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY? I CAN'T FUCKING CONCENTRATE." Remus screamed. He chucked a heavy book at both James's and Sirius's heads. There were two loud thuds and yelps of pain.

"Careful, now," Peter snickered at them, "He's using caps lock!"

"Shit, I forgot about that," Sirius muttered and rubbed his forehead, which was swelling blue.

James massaged his black eye. "Damn, so did I... Remus is so _scary_ when he's using all caps..." he whimpered.

"CRAP, I FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT THAT TOO. NOW I CAN'T FUCKING STOP!" shouted Remus.

"Hehe!! Sucks for you guys!! I'm the only one that remembered!! Totally!!" Peter exclaimed.

"Argh! Now _Peter_ is using more exclamation points than necessary. This fucking sucks," Sirius whined. James swatted Peter on the head with the text book.

"Ouch!! That hurt!! A lot!!"

"HEY, NO ONE CAN FUCKING THROW MY FUCKING BOOKS AT OTHER FUCKING PEOPLE BESIDES ME," said Remus, shaking a fist at James.

"_Whaaat_?" James frowned and folded his arms. "It's not _myyyy_ fault Peter is _sooooo_ annoying... _Besiiiiides_, you don't do _aaaaanything_ interesting with those _stuuuuupid_ _boooooks_ of yours except _stuuuuudy_!"

"James, stop it!" Sirius hissed. You're extending all your vowels. _Again_!"

"Sorry, _maaaaate_, but I _caaaan't_ heeeelp it!"

"I like bananas!!"

"FUCK!"

Sirius sighed at his three friends. He jumped up a second later as if a lightning bolt struck him.

lol brb i gtg 2 da bathroom rly quik he said. He hopped up the dormitory steps and out of sight.

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_A/N: anyone's eyes melt before you got to the end of this besides mine? no? yes? i thought so._


End file.
